The Times They Are a-Changin'

So, it's been two months since you heard from me over here. I think the end of this year will see the end of this blog, but before then, let's have more pictures of my adorable niece!



She's almost single-handedly the reason I've tripled the number of trips I would normally have made to Texas this fall.

Although, to be honest, this is the other reason:
Yep, I'm the proud girlfriend of a worn pair of cowboy boots. They've been to visit me in NYC at least once a month since August, and shockingly, I'm not tired of them yet. I must be mellowing in my old age.

It probably didn't hurt that during the boots' last visit to New York, we went to see my all-time favorite musician at the Beacon Theatre, complete with backstage passes so I could meet Mr. Lovett in person.


Isn't this how life works? I moved to New York four years ago and now find myself dating a man not just from Texas, but from my hometown, no less. Makes total sense for me to date him now that we live 2000 miles apart, doesn't it?

Although given my track record, that might just be WHY it works. (Oh god, did I just say it works? I AM getting mellow in my old age. Don't tell anyone.)

Diez y Seis

My father would have been sixty-five today.

I always know his age because his birthday is six weeks after mine, and he turned 30 right after I was born. I'm thinking about him today, and about how the years have passed without him, but I don't miss him any less.

Still, I know how lucky we are to have had him - how lucky I am that he was my daddy - and when I start feeling too sorry for myself, I try to remember that so many got it tougher than I do (to quote a favorite Bruce Robison line) and that life ain't always fair (to quote a favorite Pat Smith line.) So I try to remember to be grateful.

I just scanned all the pictures of him up in my apartment right now, and I wanted to put them up here. I know some people are surprised at how often or how much I talk about him after they find out that he's not here anymore or that the car accident was almost twelve years ago, but to me, it would seem unnatural not to. He was and continues to be the single most influential person in my life and anyone who wants to know me well can't do that without knowing about him. I like that we (my mom, my sister, our family, my friends) feel like we can talk about him - it keeps him here.

Each one of these pictures makes me smile when I see it - our goofy family portrait with matching Mexican sundresses my mother insisted on, one from the father/daughter trip salmon-fishing in Alaska the summer before I started teaching, him with his best friend Jim in the USMC in Vietnam in '68, and the last one from one of many solo fishing trips, with the same grin he always had on his face.





When my sister got married, she had a brief note in the wedding program in memory of him. I don't know if I'm quoting it exactly, but I think of the sentiment often: Today and every day we remember him, and are grateful for the love he gave so generously to his family and friends.

Tour Guiding, Summer 2009 Edition

Y'all, it's September! How did this happen? My last post was over two months ago, and in that time I've welcomed my mom, four different cousins, one family friend, 30 college students from Shanghai, China and a high school friend/long distance suitor to summer in New York City. Needless to say, things have been busy.

In June when the Texas cousins were here, I finally rode the Staten Island Ferry, like every good NYC tourist should.

Hey, look! There she is!
The Texas cousins and I took a bus to Jerz for our New Jersey cousin's bat mitzvah in Asbury Park. In addition to her party, the hotel was also hosting Mr. Gay New Jersey 2009, which made it that much more awesome. Those ladies were amazing, to put it mildly. I wish the pics I took on my phone when I snuck down to watch the evening gown competition had turned out. Oh well. My cousin's little shin-dig was completely over the top, as befitting her theme of "Club Bat Mitvah" and decor included life-size portraits of her hung all over the hotel ballroom. Super fab.

Suzanne (aka Mom) made an overdue trip to the big city and let me drag her all over Manhattan. We made it to the opening day of the High Line!
I got to make a quick trip to the Great State in July for the fambly reunion in New Braunfels, mostly so I could see this cutie!
And my favorite thing about family gatherings: watching my 83 year-old grandmother smoke everyone at whatever game we are playing - usually dominoes (42), Canasta, or Spades. If she's not an advertisement for clean living, I don't know who is!

The most eventful part of my summer definitely was hosting The Chinese (as I like to call them) for four weeks. I was the program coordinator/tour guide for thirty undergrads from Shanghai, China who were in a summer program at Teachers College. They were an amazing group, and I loved every day they were here. It was the second best job I've ever had - the first being working at J.J.'s Sno-Cones with Sharon the summer after we graduated from high school. I mean, seriously, what beats free sno-cones every day?? Nothing, that's what.

While the Chinese were here, I took them to a Mets game, among other things. It was my first Major League baseball game ever, and I dragged my roommate along, too. That place is awesome! They had a blast, to put it mildly. I wish I had pictures of me putting all 30 of them on the M4 bus outside of TC to head across town to the Guggenheim. The locals did not appreciate the delay, to say the least.

Some other stuff happened this summer that I hope I eventually get around to telling you about, but if I don't, just know that in the future I will not be trying to set up my roommate with any random dude I may or may not know well enough to recommend him. Also, here's a tip: when cyber-stalking potential dates, google email addresses, not just names. (Thanks to Wendy for changing the names to protect the innocent!)

And now here we are, September 1 - the beginning of my fifth year in this fantastic city. Can you believe it? I can't. Have I had a great summer? Yes. Have I finished my dissertation proposal? *crickets*

Oh yeah, one more thing. This guy crashed my family reunion in New Braunfels (which is a bit of a drive from his town) and then came to visit me in NYC a few weeks ago.
Depending on how this weekend goes in Austin, you may or may not hear more about him later.

And you, what have you been up to?

The Internet is No Joke

Almost daily, I have a moment when I think, "I really should put this (story, joke, crazy experience, celebrity sighting) on the blog!" but instead I Tweet or update Facebook or start a blog post and let it languish in the Drafts, and here we are almost two months later and I haven't told you anything! At this point I'm not sure I shouldn't just end the whole enterprise and take it offline. It mocks me daily.

I think the the internet has made the world a little too small for me not to feel a bit self-conscious about any of the nonsense I might choose to write here, and that's been a major reason I haven't kept up. Knowing exactly where, and therefore who, was reading has been a major deterrent. Paradoxical, I know, since that was what used to motivate me to write, and now it's the reason I don't want to. In fact, when I updated the Blogger template a few months ago, I decided not to put back the stats counter, because I didn't want to know who was reading.

I know, I know - what did I expect, right? It's a blog, for crying out loud, with my name on it, and for awhile I even had it on my Facebook profile. But around election time I started to realize that I didn't want half of Bryan America reading about my occasionally entertaining stories (also known as...misadventures!), my failed attempts at dating, or my irreverent comments about any number of potentially upsetting issues - nor did I want to wonder what they were thinking of me.

The final straw was a couple of months ago, when I got a Facebook message from a guy I dated briefly the summer after my freshman year of college. We had a brief, and to my thinking, casual dating relationship, although the end was a bit tough on him, and we hadn't spoken since, UNTIL I got a few FB messages from him (with the last asking why we stopped dating after five weeks - SIXTEEN YEARS AGO) and it just totally freaked me out. After that, I deleted a bunch of Facebook "friends" who I hadn't actually talked to in 15 years or more, and put all my settings on private.

Of course, the flip side of this teeny tiny internet world we're living in is that I got to apologize tonight (via Facebook chat) to a sweet boy from high school who I was a terrible snob to - oh, about 20 years ago. Sadly, neither of us had forgotten this particularly wrenching adolescent moment, and when he said hello on chat tonight and brought that teen movie moment up, I knew exactly where he was going with it. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that we can be in touch with people we were terrible to 20 years ago, but that's the nature of Facebook, I guess. And I guess without this blog, I couldn't have just told you that story! See, the internet IS no joke.

I guess I'm not quite ready to abandon the blog yet, if only to entertain the friends who I know are reading and getting a kick out of it. And besides, I'm pretty sure the world needs more pictures of my adorable niece!


And four generations of the exact same chin!

Fun Stuff!

Here's my friend Chef Carla Beth's latest Dessert Lounge video!

Texas Tour '09, Part II

After a trip to see friends in Fort Worth, Arlington, and Dallas, respectively, I spent Easter weekend at my mom's house in Bryan America celebrating my grandmother's 84th birthday with the rest of the fam. A couple of days later my mom and I headed to West Texas to visit her sister who was in her last week of chemo and radiation for cancer of the larnyx. (She's doing well now, and hopefully will get the all-clear soon). Highlights of the trip included ducks, among other things.

Apparently they roam the streets in Odessa, Texas.

One of our nights in Odessa my mom and I stayed with friends of my parents, and the man half of the couple usually used my guest room as his extra closet. This hat is hanging here without irony.

My mom left her glasses at home on our way to Odessa, so had to wear her prescription sunglasses the whole time. Even at bedtime.

Got to see a West Texas sunrise from the plane heading back to Austin - almost made getting up at the crack worth it.

My last weekend in Austin was a whirlwind, trying to see friends and also helping out with the baby while my sister and B.I.L. were in class/working. We went shopping for provisions for the cook-out, but Lucinda was not nearly as excited by Costco as I was.

Her shirt says, "I act like a baby." Baby clothes are RIDIC these days. How cute is this?

These babies were born on the same day! Except the baby boy snoozing on the right is a few inches taller and a couple of pounds heavier than little Lu smiling over there. I think she's flirting. How cute - they're even wearing matching socks.

My last night in town was the perfect time for a backyard cook-out on my sister and B.I.L.'s patio. It was so fun, but at one point my college roommate looked at me as many little children ran around the backyard and said, "Where did all these children come from?? The last time I saw these people, none of them had kids!" I guess they've been busy in the almost four years since I moved.

Check out the artichoke plant in the back corner. That thing is magnificent.


My sis took over sweet potato supervision.

A good time was had by all, as usual.

A friend told my sister that I seemed happier in Texas, and maybe things weren't good for me in New York? I thought about it, and realized yes, I AM happier in Texas, but only because I'm on vacation! It's SUPPOSED to be a good time. I eat, drink, hang with some of my favorite people, and pretend like that's the extent of my responsibilities. And for a few days, it is. Which is why it's vacation.
But life is good here in NYC, and getting better; the weather finally feels like spring and I'm ready for what's next. (Although what's next is kind of a scary b-day number this July, but let's not talk about that right now.)

And no matter what's going on, I can look forward to the next time I get to cuddle this sweetie. I hate to be such a cliche, but let's face it - I'm in love!

Texas Tour '09, Part 1

This puppy stole my shoe in Fort Worth, Texas.


Then I met a friend and her cute baby in Arlington, Texas for lunch but forgot to take a picture.

This guy tried to eat this apple pancake at the International House of Pancakes in Dallas, Texas...

but couldn't.

This baby likes her sling (in Austin, Texas.)

So does her dad.

Ms. Lutty is practicing, also in Austin.

Grandmother asked for a new printer for her 84th birthday. She also uses Google as a verb. She lives in Houston but her party was in Bryan (Texas or America, depending on your preference.)

My Boy Cousin made his first pecan pie! (He made it in College Station, but we ate it in Bryan.)

What's Easter lunch without ham in a Texas-shaped dish? In Bryan, Texas, of course.


And this was only the first half of the trip!

Perspective

Well, hello there! How're things? Good? Good - for me, too. I'm in the second half of the Spring '09 Texas tour, and it's been flying by. Currently I'm in Odessa, Texas with my mom, visiting my aunt while she does the last week of chemo and radiation for throat cancer. A couple of weeks ago I was feeling pretty sorry for myself in typical grad student fashion, but I think spending some time with a cancer patient has cured me of that.

This week in Texas has been so good for me - seeing old friends (and their cute babies), spending time with my fambly, and basically re-charging and getting focused again. And did I mention I have an adorable new baby niece?








I've got a few more days to squeeze in as much as I can before heading back to real life in Harlem USA. Until then, it's all about the good life, Texas style!

I Wish I Was Kidding

I didn't make my deadline. In fact, I stopped trying. I packed up my laptop, 12 journal articles and five books for another marathon session in the library the other day and stopped in to meet with my second committee member before another push at finishing the draft. That's when she told me that she wouldn't be able to read my draft for another month, til mid-May, because she has to read seven dissertations from people trying to graduate this semester. That puts me at the bottom of the list, and I can't have my proposal hearing without her reading all three chapters and giving me feedback beforehand, which now can't happen.

Once she told me that, I took all that crap I had packed for a long work session, went home, and dumped it in a pile in my office. I've been feeling sorry for myself (and eating ice cream) since.

And to make matters more confusing, I had dinner on Sunday with a friend who dropped the program two years ago for a six-figure job in a school district in Long Island. He said there's an opening for the same job he has for me next year.

Y'all. I'm already going to have to wait another semester to even do my stupid research study, and it'll be who-knows-how many semesters after that for me to actually finish writing the dissertation. Meanwhile, I have to pay for at least one class per semester while I'm working on my dissertation, so that's easily four more semesters of tuition, which ain't cheap. See where I'm headed here?

Ugh. I'm tired of working part-time, doing school work part-time, and attempting to have an actual life part-time. I seem to be getting nowhere on any front. This shit is hard.

Next time I'll tell you about the outcome of the "Why I'm Single" play-in-one-act from Friday. In case you're wondering, apparently I'm "not nice" and also, still single.

And that's no April Foolin'!

A Play in One Act, Entitled "Why I'm Single" Composed Entirely in Text Messages

Jan. 29
5:37pm
Him: You in Chelsea?
Me: Nope.
Him: How rude!

Jan. 31
11:34pm
Him: Where are you?

Mar. 21
4:01pm
Him: Watching the game?
4:25pm
Me: Thinking about it, but supposed to be working. It's at 8?
Him: Have you ever been to Daisy May's?
Me: Nope. BBQ? Better than Hill Country?
Him: Never been but I hear it's good. You still like Hill Country?
Me: Brisket and jalapeno sausage!
Him: What's your week like? My friend Knute gets to town tonight.
Me: I met him I think. My week sucks. My diss. proposal deadline is 3/31.
Him: You met him in SF. How about tonight after the game?
Good luck on the diss.
Me: Tonight would be funny, and maybe even fun. Text me when you're out if y'all are up for company.
Him: Will do. He's annoying me already and he just landed.
Me: That's what I remember about him. Have fun!
6:57pm
Him: Thanks. FYI Will probably hit daisy may's around 9:30. Will call you.
10:55pm
Me: Did y'all decide to skip dinner and go straight to drinking?

Mar. 26
12:24am
Him: Daisy May's Saturday for sure?
Me: For sure!
Him: I swear! 6pm!
Me: Can't wait!
Him: Will you show?
Me: Seems irrelevant.
2:17am
Him: What?

Mar. 27
5:58pm
Him: BBQ?
Me: I think you should seek professional help.
Him: As in at a smokehouse? I agree. I've got professional help dear. Thanks for that amazing insight. And yourself?
Me: Good, I'm glad for you. And obvs I'm in need as well if I can still be fooled into getting dressed for a Sat. 9:30pm phone call to meet up.
Him: You were on the fence. I'm working til 8. Tell me where to meet you.
Me: No excuse for bad manners, even if they're predictable. You can ring my buzzer at 9.
Otherwise we can meet up somewhere, I'm sure!
Him: I apologize for bad manners. What is your address? I'll see you at 9.
Me: 125 and bway. Text me if you show.