Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sometimes I Can't Stand Myself
It's an embarrassment how readily I complain about the "difficulties" in my life, because you know what? It's really not that bad. In fact, after a week like this, I am reminded that compared to many people, my life is pretty fucking great. And all the complaining I do about my dissertation, and my job(s), and not having enough money and life in a walk-up and the fact that if I don't meet someone worthwhile soon I might shrivel up and die blah blah blah -- I should just shut up.
Case in point - my social schedule for the last week (with pictures stolen from the internet, to liven it up a bit):
(last) Saturday - night out on the Lower East Side for April's birthday
Sunday - brunch with Wendy and Drew at Roberto Passon, then Alvin Ailey Dance Company's anniversary performance - WHICH WAS AWESOME.
Monday - dinner at Toast for April's birthday
Wednesday - dinner near Columbia with friend from school, then free tickets to Speed-the-Plow with Jeremy Piven!
Thursday - dinner in Harlem USA with Kara, another friend from school
Friday - dinner at Blue Water Grill and drinks at Olives with out-of-town friends
Saturday - Brooklyn book club, which turned into a 5-hour happy hour gathering
Sunday - brunch at Nice Matin with out-of-town friends and Ugly Betty sighting!
and then "Ice" skating at the Polar Rink and a trip to the Columbus flea market.
This week I've got my original book club group, which doesn't actually read a book together but rather, discusses what we've all read individually and then has a book exchange for the holidays. Wednesday we've got tickets to see a play at Second City Theatre, and Thursday I leave for two weeks in Texas!!
When I moved here over three years ago I had not one friend to do anything with, and now I'm lucky enough to have too much to do. I hate myself just writing this.
Also, it seems fairly clear why I'm not getting more work done on my dissertation proposal, don't you think?
Case in point - my social schedule for the last week (with pictures stolen from the internet, to liven it up a bit):
(last) Saturday - night out on the Lower East Side for April's birthday
Sunday - brunch with Wendy and Drew at Roberto Passon, then Alvin Ailey Dance Company's anniversary performance - WHICH WAS AWESOME.
Monday - dinner at Toast for April's birthday
Wednesday - dinner near Columbia with friend from school, then free tickets to Speed-the-Plow with Jeremy Piven!
Thursday - dinner in Harlem USA with Kara, another friend from school
Friday - dinner at Blue Water Grill and drinks at Olives with out-of-town friends
Saturday - Brooklyn book club, which turned into a 5-hour happy hour gathering
Sunday - brunch at Nice Matin with out-of-town friends and Ugly Betty sighting!
and then "Ice" skating at the Polar Rink and a trip to the Columbus flea market.
This week I've got my original book club group, which doesn't actually read a book together but rather, discusses what we've all read individually and then has a book exchange for the holidays. Wednesday we've got tickets to see a play at Second City Theatre, and Thursday I leave for two weeks in Texas!!
When I moved here over three years ago I had not one friend to do anything with, and now I'm lucky enough to have too much to do. I hate myself just writing this.
Also, it seems fairly clear why I'm not getting more work done on my dissertation proposal, don't you think?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Done
Oh, sorry, were you waiting on me? My bad. It took me a couple of days to process, but I think I can do it justice, at least briefly.
The Pinball Champ is a good person. He's not the person for me, but I hope that he is for someone else. (And soon.) The thing you have to realize about him is to his thinking, none of our communication in the last year is remotely negative. He doesn't think he's annoying, or pathetic, or pleading... or anything except awesome, actually. You've never met someone who thinks so highly of himself, but without being stuck up. It's hard to explain, but the best I can tell is, he knows he's super awesome, and he's pretty sure I'm awesome, too, so he figures if he just gives me enough time (one year and counting), then I will eventually realize how awesome he is and we can be awesome together.
Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense. I have a few theories about how he turned out the way he is (only child, born and raised in Manhattan, strangely intelligent, indestructible self-concept), but it might just be that's he's a strange bird. Or mildly autistic, I can't tell which. Regardless, he looked at me quite intently across the table for the entire dinner but did his best to play it cool. And for the record, I wore a turtleneck, corduroy jeans and the least attractive boots I own, so by no means was I sending mixed signals. I was also friendly, pleasant, and happy to eat a nice meal on his dime - let's be clear.
I declined an invite to have a drink after dinner, and on our walk to the subway, he quickly got to the big finale, which was an invite to a weekend in Atlantic City. He's got comps in a great hotel, apparently, and it totally makes sense for the two of us to go away together, since we haven't seen each other in a year. I said I WOULD in fact like to see AC eventually (although I did not say that it would be with him), but it probably wouldn't be a good idea at this point. He looked at me meaningfully and said, "Well, at least let's not let another year pass before we get together, okay?" and then put his hands on my shoulders and leaned in with purpose. So I did what I had to do: I turned my face at the last minute so he hit my cheek, gave him a hug, and then ran down the stairs.
THE END.
(Side note: Strangely, I also just got another random invitation for a get-away to the Bahamas next week with a guy friend who just broke up with his girlfriend a week before they were supposed to leave on their paid island vacation. Sadly, I can't go, although it's probably for the best, since I tend to make out with this friend after several drinks, which might have played a role in his inviting me, let's be honest.)
So, no more Pinball Champ. For real. I just feel too bad about it, and about myself for not liking him. I thought seeing him was the nice thing to do (and he looked good, even) but... eh. He is not my lobster.
(Quick, Gen X-ers, name that tv show.)
NEXT!
The Pinball Champ is a good person. He's not the person for me, but I hope that he is for someone else. (And soon.) The thing you have to realize about him is to his thinking, none of our communication in the last year is remotely negative. He doesn't think he's annoying, or pathetic, or pleading... or anything except awesome, actually. You've never met someone who thinks so highly of himself, but without being stuck up. It's hard to explain, but the best I can tell is, he knows he's super awesome, and he's pretty sure I'm awesome, too, so he figures if he just gives me enough time (one year and counting), then I will eventually realize how awesome he is and we can be awesome together.
Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense. I have a few theories about how he turned out the way he is (only child, born and raised in Manhattan, strangely intelligent, indestructible self-concept), but it might just be that's he's a strange bird. Or mildly autistic, I can't tell which. Regardless, he looked at me quite intently across the table for the entire dinner but did his best to play it cool. And for the record, I wore a turtleneck, corduroy jeans and the least attractive boots I own, so by no means was I sending mixed signals. I was also friendly, pleasant, and happy to eat a nice meal on his dime - let's be clear.
I declined an invite to have a drink after dinner, and on our walk to the subway, he quickly got to the big finale, which was an invite to a weekend in Atlantic City. He's got comps in a great hotel, apparently, and it totally makes sense for the two of us to go away together, since we haven't seen each other in a year. I said I WOULD in fact like to see AC eventually (although I did not say that it would be with him), but it probably wouldn't be a good idea at this point. He looked at me meaningfully and said, "Well, at least let's not let another year pass before we get together, okay?" and then put his hands on my shoulders and leaned in with purpose. So I did what I had to do: I turned my face at the last minute so he hit my cheek, gave him a hug, and then ran down the stairs.
THE END.
(Side note: Strangely, I also just got another random invitation for a get-away to the Bahamas next week with a guy friend who just broke up with his girlfriend a week before they were supposed to leave on their paid island vacation. Sadly, I can't go, although it's probably for the best, since I tend to make out with this friend after several drinks, which might have played a role in his inviting me, let's be honest.)
So, no more Pinball Champ. For real. I just feel too bad about it, and about myself for not liking him. I thought seeing him was the nice thing to do (and he looked good, even) but... eh. He is not my lobster.
(Quick, Gen X-ers, name that tv show.)
NEXT!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Dilemma
I'm really dreading the next two hours of my life right now. I decided to be agreeable, and now I'm sorry. Lemme 'splain.
In the year and a half since I stopped dating the Pinball Champ, he's been in touch at various times to ask if I wanted to meet up. Last fall, I put him off for three months before we finally got together for a drink, on an evening which ended with him trying to make out with me on the street and me pushing him off and jumping in a cab. Since then, he's been in touch every couple of months, but I've never agreed to meet up with him again.
Until a few weeks ago, when for some reason I decided that the only kind thing to do would be to see him. If he's still wanting to see me after a year, I figure, the least I can do is to remind him again what a pain in the ass I am and see if that helps him move on. Right? Except now that the evening has arrived, I'm dreading it. I know I should have just said no, but I thought finally agreeing to meet was the nicer thing. But now I'm not so sure.
You tell me - what would you have done?
Really, we should go back to this summer's email exchange, which was my fault, because I saw a movie I thought he would like, so I emailed him about it. Bad idea. It kicked off this this whole last six months of him wanting to get together.
HIGH-larious, as my sister says.
--- On Sun, 7/20/08:
From: Me
Subject:
To: Pinball Champ
Date: Sunday, July 20, 2008, 1:00 PM
hey - saw a movie last night that I thought you'd enjoy.
Have you
seen The Wackness? Set in NYC 1994 - white kid who loves
all things
hip-hop. Reminded me of someone...
From: Pinball Champ
Date: July 23, 2008 2:48:04 PM EDT
To: me
Subject: wackness?
Yeah, I heard about that flick, but the reviews said it was a bit cliched. I think I'd probably like the soundtrack more than the movie, but I've got most of it already.
Besides, seeing me in person is a lot more thrilling than a wanna-be on the screen. The question is, would you recognize me? I've dropped 20 pounds due to my new active lifestyle.
Drop me a line when you're in town, and we'll drink cider and make out. - P.
Okay, I should insert an editorial note here. His "new active lifestyle" is waiting tables, which is what he's had to do the last year since he got laid off from a finance job.
From: Me
To: PBC
Well, then. Drink cider and make out? That's a friendly enough proposition - maybe too friendly?
Besides, what's wrong with some red wine and conversation??
20 lbs. due to your new active lifestyle is impressive. I think I should look into a new active lifestyle for myself. I'm spending a lot of time in the library these days with this pesky dissertation proposal.
Glad to see you're still your indomitable self.
SO, no more contact after that. Now fast forward two months, to this past September. Here are the texts, verbatim.
Sep 24
PC: Free tonight?
Me: Sorry, got to do some work for school. How r u?
PC: I am now standing on a booze cruise. Was hoping you were up for spontaneous samba.
Me: Booze cruise? Sounds like an exciting Wednesday.
PC: You know how I like to keep life interesting...
Oct 1
PC: Free on Friday?
Me: Is that an invitation? or simply an inquiry? To date, plans are for happy hour.
Oct 2
PC: Happy hour sounds good. When and where?
Me: You misunderstood - I have plans with friends. No boys invited! :)
PC: Me and a bunch of chicks? Sounds awesome!
(twelve hours later)
PC: Alright, no more jokes. Wanna meet after girl time? Its been way too long, and I want you to see how hot I am now.
Me: I'm happy to admire how hot you are, but it probably won't be tonight. Not sure when we'll be done so can't make any plans.
PC: That's fine. You are the tease of all teases. I have plans tonight, but I'm going to keep bugging you until you go out with me in the near future. :)
DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM DEALING WITH, PEOPLE???
Nov 27
PC: Happy Thanksgiving!
Me: And to you!
Dec 3
PC: Tonight. No excuses.
Me: Funny. Like I would ever be so agreeable on demand. I need to plan ahead!
PC: You're not agreeable in advance either!
Me: Not true. I can do tmrw.
PC: No way. I don't believe you!
Me: Fine, you're on to me.
PC: I'm working til 12am tmrw at the restaurant. Wanna meet me there and then go out?
Me: Midnight?? I'm working Friday morning. Could do Sunday, I think.
PC: Sunday it is then. I'm done working at 4pm. Although you are a wimp for not meeting me tmrw.
Dec 4
PC: I'm free tonight. Or we could do Sunday, your call.
Dec 6
PC: Are we up for dinner/drinks tomorrow night?
Me: If you want. I'm going to see Alvin Ailey tmrw & will be done by 5 if you want to meet up then? Or early dinner on the UWS works too.
Dec 7
PC: I'm done with work now. Let me know if you're up for some fun tonight.
Me: I can do early dinner if you want. Have to get home in time to get stuff ready for tmrw.
PC: I'd like to meet you on the lower east side. Can I drag you down here?
Me: Absolutely not. :) I was there last night.
PC: Okay, then how about you suggest a place and I'll meet you up there.
And here we are. I was trying to be nice, and let him show off (I know I'D want to be showing off to someone if I lost 20 pounds!), catch up since it's been a year, and then move on. But I just have a feeling it's not going to be that painless. Wish me luck.
In the year and a half since I stopped dating the Pinball Champ, he's been in touch at various times to ask if I wanted to meet up. Last fall, I put him off for three months before we finally got together for a drink, on an evening which ended with him trying to make out with me on the street and me pushing him off and jumping in a cab. Since then, he's been in touch every couple of months, but I've never agreed to meet up with him again.
Until a few weeks ago, when for some reason I decided that the only kind thing to do would be to see him. If he's still wanting to see me after a year, I figure, the least I can do is to remind him again what a pain in the ass I am and see if that helps him move on. Right? Except now that the evening has arrived, I'm dreading it. I know I should have just said no, but I thought finally agreeing to meet was the nicer thing. But now I'm not so sure.
You tell me - what would you have done?
Really, we should go back to this summer's email exchange, which was my fault, because I saw a movie I thought he would like, so I emailed him about it. Bad idea. It kicked off this this whole last six months of him wanting to get together.
HIGH-larious, as my sister says.
--- On Sun, 7/20/08:
From: Me
Subject:
To: Pinball Champ
Date: Sunday, July 20, 2008, 1:00 PM
hey - saw a movie last night that I thought you'd enjoy.
Have you
seen The Wackness? Set in NYC 1994 - white kid who loves
all things
hip-hop. Reminded me of someone...
From: Pinball Champ
Date: July 23, 2008 2:48:04 PM EDT
To: me
Subject: wackness?
Yeah, I heard about that flick, but the reviews said it was a bit cliched. I think I'd probably like the soundtrack more than the movie, but I've got most of it already.
Besides, seeing me in person is a lot more thrilling than a wanna-be on the screen. The question is, would you recognize me? I've dropped 20 pounds due to my new active lifestyle.
Drop me a line when you're in town, and we'll drink cider and make out. - P.
Okay, I should insert an editorial note here. His "new active lifestyle" is waiting tables, which is what he's had to do the last year since he got laid off from a finance job.
From: Me
To: PBC
Well, then. Drink cider and make out? That's a friendly enough proposition - maybe too friendly?
Besides, what's wrong with some red wine and conversation??
20 lbs. due to your new active lifestyle is impressive. I think I should look into a new active lifestyle for myself. I'm spending a lot of time in the library these days with this pesky dissertation proposal.
Glad to see you're still your indomitable self.
SO, no more contact after that. Now fast forward two months, to this past September. Here are the texts, verbatim.
Sep 24
PC: Free tonight?
Me: Sorry, got to do some work for school. How r u?
PC: I am now standing on a booze cruise. Was hoping you were up for spontaneous samba.
Me: Booze cruise? Sounds like an exciting Wednesday.
PC: You know how I like to keep life interesting...
Oct 1
PC: Free on Friday?
Me: Is that an invitation? or simply an inquiry? To date, plans are for happy hour.
Oct 2
PC: Happy hour sounds good. When and where?
Me: You misunderstood - I have plans with friends. No boys invited! :)
PC: Me and a bunch of chicks? Sounds awesome!
(twelve hours later)
PC: Alright, no more jokes. Wanna meet after girl time? Its been way too long, and I want you to see how hot I am now.
Me: I'm happy to admire how hot you are, but it probably won't be tonight. Not sure when we'll be done so can't make any plans.
PC: That's fine. You are the tease of all teases. I have plans tonight, but I'm going to keep bugging you until you go out with me in the near future. :)
DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM DEALING WITH, PEOPLE???
Nov 27
PC: Happy Thanksgiving!
Me: And to you!
Dec 3
PC: Tonight. No excuses.
Me: Funny. Like I would ever be so agreeable on demand. I need to plan ahead!
PC: You're not agreeable in advance either!
Me: Not true. I can do tmrw.
PC: No way. I don't believe you!
Me: Fine, you're on to me.
PC: I'm working til 12am tmrw at the restaurant. Wanna meet me there and then go out?
Me: Midnight?? I'm working Friday morning. Could do Sunday, I think.
PC: Sunday it is then. I'm done working at 4pm. Although you are a wimp for not meeting me tmrw.
Dec 4
PC: I'm free tonight. Or we could do Sunday, your call.
Dec 6
PC: Are we up for dinner/drinks tomorrow night?
Me: If you want. I'm going to see Alvin Ailey tmrw & will be done by 5 if you want to meet up then? Or early dinner on the UWS works too.
Dec 7
PC: I'm done with work now. Let me know if you're up for some fun tonight.
Me: I can do early dinner if you want. Have to get home in time to get stuff ready for tmrw.
PC: I'd like to meet you on the lower east side. Can I drag you down here?
Me: Absolutely not. :) I was there last night.
PC: Okay, then how about you suggest a place and I'll meet you up there.
And here we are. I was trying to be nice, and let him show off (I know I'D want to be showing off to someone if I lost 20 pounds!), catch up since it's been a year, and then move on. But I just have a feeling it's not going to be that painless. Wish me luck.
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